It's been an interesting few weeks for me, as I'm starting to feel like myself again. While I still get tired quicker than normal, its a different kind of tired to the bone-aching fatigue I've had until now. The more I do the better I feel (up to a point). I'm even starting to look like myself again (albeit with a very short haircut and a 2 stone weight gain) - my face is much less puffy than it was, my eyelashes are back and I even have eyebrows again.
I've been suffering on and off over the last few months with a pain in my leg. It's not too bad, but it's been niggling at the back of my mind that I should get it checked out, so I set up an appointment with my oncologist last week. I knew that it was likely to be nothing, but occasionally I would start freaking out about it and assume the worst (one of my risks is a spread to bone cancer, and bone pain is a symptom). I was sent off immediately for X-Rays on my leg and thankfully they didn't show up anything. Most likely reason for the pain is that I have shin-splints, because I've been inactive for a while and with my numb feet I'm probably stomping a bit. It's a big relief that it's nothing sinister, but I suppose that I'll always have to deal with random panics over strange aches and pains.
I also went to see my GP, who has agreed that I can start getting back to work in the next few weeks, provided that my 3rd Herceptin treatment went without incident - which it did. Some people I've spoken to have been surprised that I'm so keen to get back to the office, but I just want to get back to being a normal person. Cancer has already stolen 10 months of my life, and I don't intend to let it have any more.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Monday, 2 April 2012
Second Herceptin
I had my second Herceptin treatment on Friday, which went without any hitches. My port was accessed nice and easily this time round, and again I had no reaction to the drug. I have to have one more at Reading to prove I'm definitely not allergic to it, and then the rest will be done out of Bracknell.
I'm starting to feel better recovering from the radiotherapy, my skin is still a little sore, but I'm much less tired. I was even able to do some digging out in the garden yesterday, and I've started a little exercise regime to help me start getting back into shape.
I've been carrying on with my embroidery as well, here are my last 2 projects, converted now into cushions:
I'm starting to feel better recovering from the radiotherapy, my skin is still a little sore, but I'm much less tired. I was even able to do some digging out in the garden yesterday, and I've started a little exercise regime to help me start getting back into shape.
I've been carrying on with my embroidery as well, here are my last 2 projects, converted now into cushions:
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
And I'm Done!
Monday was my final radiotherapy treatment, which means that apart from the Herceptin treatment (second one is due this Friday) I'm through with my cancer treatment!
I feel relieved, of course, and glad that it's over, but I can't say I feel over-joyed. That's because end of treatment doesn't mean the end of the cancer road, and I'm not certain when or even if that end will be. Perhaps in 5 years when I'm through my remission period. If there is no recurrance of cancer within that 5 years, then my risk of recurrance drops back to normal, due to the type of cancer I've had. However, within those 5 years, my risk is significantly higher - I don't have numbers from my oncologist, but from research I've done, I'd estimate that there is between a 10-20% chance of recurrance. That may not seem that huge, but if I do have recurrance, it will almost ceratinly be a spread (and so terminal), rather than another dose of breast cancer. This means I'm likely to become a total hypochondriac over the next few years, worrying about every single ache and pain and cough.
Radiotherapy treated me fairly well. My skin never got worse than being slightly red, and I just need to be careful not to expose it to the sun for the next few weeks. I am now feeling quite tired, altough thats just as likely to have been from having a very busy weekend - we went to Stratford upon Avon to see my old theatre chums performing at the Courtyard Theatre (they were amazing). It's started me thinking about starting up a creative hobby again, if not theatre then maybe something musical instead.
I feel relieved, of course, and glad that it's over, but I can't say I feel over-joyed. That's because end of treatment doesn't mean the end of the cancer road, and I'm not certain when or even if that end will be. Perhaps in 5 years when I'm through my remission period. If there is no recurrance of cancer within that 5 years, then my risk of recurrance drops back to normal, due to the type of cancer I've had. However, within those 5 years, my risk is significantly higher - I don't have numbers from my oncologist, but from research I've done, I'd estimate that there is between a 10-20% chance of recurrance. That may not seem that huge, but if I do have recurrance, it will almost ceratinly be a spread (and so terminal), rather than another dose of breast cancer. This means I'm likely to become a total hypochondriac over the next few years, worrying about every single ache and pain and cough.
Radiotherapy treated me fairly well. My skin never got worse than being slightly red, and I just need to be careful not to expose it to the sun for the next few weeks. I am now feeling quite tired, altough thats just as likely to have been from having a very busy weekend - we went to Stratford upon Avon to see my old theatre chums performing at the Courtyard Theatre (they were amazing). It's started me thinking about starting up a creative hobby again, if not theatre then maybe something musical instead.
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Radio and Herceptin
I've finished my first full week of radiotherapy as of yesterday, and am still feeling pretty good. My skin doesn't feel any more sore than after the first session (and it helps that I had almost 4 full days to recover between Friday morning and Monday evenings dose). Getting to the Bracknell clinic has been fine, and even getting in and out of Reading on Friday and Monday wasn't too bad.
I'm doing well on the energy front as well, probably helped by the last 2 days spent helping to construct the garden with my Dad and Simon, althugh today I'm having a restful day as I have an aching right arm. Having said restful, I've been setting up construction plans and drawings and talking to landscapers, but certainly more calm than the last few days.
I had my first Herceptin treatment on Friday, I was at Reading hospital by 8:30 (ish thanks to traffic), for radiotherapy, then up to the chemo suite for the Herceptin. Chemo suite there is much bigger than the one at Windsor, and is in what must be an old childrens ward from the 1920s - the walls are tiled in part with pictures from fairy tales, so it wasn't too bad of a location to spend the whole day. It took a fair while to get going with my treatment, as there was a problem getting into my port. I'm still quite swollen from the op, and the port seems to have shifted upwards to under the incision for it, so after 3 attempts at getting in (not painful, as I'm numb still on that part of my chest, but a bit uncofortable), and then an x-ray to check the positioning, they decided to try and go in on my arm as I was getting more swollen from the attempts. Thankfully there was a specialist vascular access nurse on duty through this, so she was able to put in a canula in my left arm using ultrasound. By my next treatment, the port should be fine, but a little annoying that they weren't able to use it.
By the time I was hooked up and ready to go for the Herceptin, it was 11:30, and through the 2 hour infusion I had to keep my arm straight, so wasn't able to do my embroidery. Thankfully I had Kate with me for company, and the lady in the next seat was chatty as well, so it passed fairly quickly. Infusion was done by 13:30, by which timer Kate had managed to find the M&S inside the hospital, so we were well provisioned with sandwiches, fruit and chocolate. Then I just had to sit and wait for 4 hours and hope I didn't have an allergic reaction. For this one I'd been given some Piriton before hand, so I was a little sleepy, but aside from that, no reaction. Some ladies report feelilng a little off for a day after the infusion, but I've not had any problems. Eventually, at half 5 I was allowed to go home having passed a pretty dull day sat in a comfy chair. Once I was detached from the drugs I did at least manage to get some stitching done.
Next Herceptin will be 30th March, where I'll have a 90 minute infusion and then go straight home.
Just 9 more radiotherapies to go and then the tough bits of treatment are over, finally.
I'm doing well on the energy front as well, probably helped by the last 2 days spent helping to construct the garden with my Dad and Simon, althugh today I'm having a restful day as I have an aching right arm. Having said restful, I've been setting up construction plans and drawings and talking to landscapers, but certainly more calm than the last few days.
I had my first Herceptin treatment on Friday, I was at Reading hospital by 8:30 (ish thanks to traffic), for radiotherapy, then up to the chemo suite for the Herceptin. Chemo suite there is much bigger than the one at Windsor, and is in what must be an old childrens ward from the 1920s - the walls are tiled in part with pictures from fairy tales, so it wasn't too bad of a location to spend the whole day. It took a fair while to get going with my treatment, as there was a problem getting into my port. I'm still quite swollen from the op, and the port seems to have shifted upwards to under the incision for it, so after 3 attempts at getting in (not painful, as I'm numb still on that part of my chest, but a bit uncofortable), and then an x-ray to check the positioning, they decided to try and go in on my arm as I was getting more swollen from the attempts. Thankfully there was a specialist vascular access nurse on duty through this, so she was able to put in a canula in my left arm using ultrasound. By my next treatment, the port should be fine, but a little annoying that they weren't able to use it.
By the time I was hooked up and ready to go for the Herceptin, it was 11:30, and through the 2 hour infusion I had to keep my arm straight, so wasn't able to do my embroidery. Thankfully I had Kate with me for company, and the lady in the next seat was chatty as well, so it passed fairly quickly. Infusion was done by 13:30, by which timer Kate had managed to find the M&S inside the hospital, so we were well provisioned with sandwiches, fruit and chocolate. Then I just had to sit and wait for 4 hours and hope I didn't have an allergic reaction. For this one I'd been given some Piriton before hand, so I was a little sleepy, but aside from that, no reaction. Some ladies report feelilng a little off for a day after the infusion, but I've not had any problems. Eventually, at half 5 I was allowed to go home having passed a pretty dull day sat in a comfy chair. Once I was detached from the drugs I did at least manage to get some stitching done.
Next Herceptin will be 30th March, where I'll have a 90 minute infusion and then go straight home.
Just 9 more radiotherapies to go and then the tough bits of treatment are over, finally.
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
Back in Treatment
I've had about 6 weeks free of treatment, which has been a good break and has allowed me to return to a reasonable level of wellness. Aside from the problems with my feet, I'd say I'm now running at about 85% of my normal healthiness. I feel fine as long as I don't do too much, but I get tired pretty quickly if I overdo it.
My right arm is showing no signs of lyphodema so far, and I have recovered nearly full movement - although my arm is pretty weak and still stiff and the scar under my arm is nice and neat and healing nicely.
My left arm seems to be recovering from the chemo trauma, but my veins are still very poor, and the arm aches if I over-extend it.
As for the results of the mastectomy, I couldn't be more pleased. Once I have a bra on (and I've cunningly removed the under wire from the right sides for comfort) you cannot tell that I have a false breast - it looks totally natural. It doesn't feel it, because the implant is under the muscle, so it's pretty solid, but not as bad as I thought. Bra off and it becomes fairly obvious thanks to the horizontal scar in place of a nipple and slight lumps and bumps, but the scar will fade down and I can be tattooed, but I'll see how I go on that - at the moment all my skin on the right side is pretty much numb, but if it recovers, I'm not sure that the pain would be worth it! Physiologically the mastectomy has been a lot easier than I thought, thanks to the excellent result, I cannot recommend my surgeon (Mr Simon Smith) enough. The effects of the radiotherapy may damage the result a bit, but I'm starting from a great position (plus here being young is an advantage - my skin should recover pretty well from the treatment).
The most difficult thing over the last few weeks has been that I feel well, thus I feel guilty that I'm not doing anything, and generally being useless. I have been able to go into work a few times, which has helped, and I'm able to do more cooking. I know that I shouldn't feel bad but I'm one of those people who always feels like they have to be achieving something in life - even more so now that life seems shorter and more precious. It's kind of a strange place to be - in between being ill and being well enough to get back to normal. A bit like the last day of having the flu, when you're not really sure that you're well enough to go into work, but well enough to feel guilty for being sat on the sofa in your pyjamas at 11am - but stretched over weeks. I'm lucky that I have a hobby that has helped to keep me going - I've become an embroidery fiend. I finished my major project that I started the day before I went into surgery last week.
Some of my other works over the last few months:
But I digress...
I am back in treatment. Last week I had a short surgery back with Mr Smith to implant a port into my vein so that my Herceptin can be administered. My original plan was to have this done with the Oncology team over in Windsor, but they seem to have forgotten to set it up, so I arranged it myself. Whilst I was waiting to go down for surgery I got a call to say that my Herceptin treatment will start on the 9th March at Reading (for the first 3 sessions - after that I'll go to Bracknell) which gives just enough time for me to heal up before they use the port. I have about an inch long scar just above my implant where they went in for the port, and a rather extravagant bruise.
Radiotherapy began yesterday, having been in for planning a few weeks ago (where they took measurements and tattooed me with dots to help line up the machine). I'm having this done at the new Bracknell Cancer Centre, which is about a 10 minute drive from home. The place only opened in May 2011, and it's rather nice - very modern, and short waiting times as they're just ramping up their services. It even has a Costa Coffee bar where I can get my espresso fix. I was in for my first appointment yesterday, which took just under an hour. The rest of my appointments are booked in for 15-20 minutes. It really is very simple. I lie very still on a bed, get positioned and then zapped. Repeat twice more and then I'm done.
The side effects are cumulative, after yesterdays my skin is a little tender, like a very minor sunburn. I've been given some aqueous cream to apply twice a day and there are other precautions I have to follow - no soap or deodorants containing metals (e45 soap is fine), no exposure to the Sun (not a problem on a rainy March day), no shaving under my right arm, use warm not hot water and drink lots of water.
14 of these to go, and then just the Herceptin treatment. Soon I'll have my life back!
My right arm is showing no signs of lyphodema so far, and I have recovered nearly full movement - although my arm is pretty weak and still stiff and the scar under my arm is nice and neat and healing nicely.
My left arm seems to be recovering from the chemo trauma, but my veins are still very poor, and the arm aches if I over-extend it.
As for the results of the mastectomy, I couldn't be more pleased. Once I have a bra on (and I've cunningly removed the under wire from the right sides for comfort) you cannot tell that I have a false breast - it looks totally natural. It doesn't feel it, because the implant is under the muscle, so it's pretty solid, but not as bad as I thought. Bra off and it becomes fairly obvious thanks to the horizontal scar in place of a nipple and slight lumps and bumps, but the scar will fade down and I can be tattooed, but I'll see how I go on that - at the moment all my skin on the right side is pretty much numb, but if it recovers, I'm not sure that the pain would be worth it! Physiologically the mastectomy has been a lot easier than I thought, thanks to the excellent result, I cannot recommend my surgeon (Mr Simon Smith) enough. The effects of the radiotherapy may damage the result a bit, but I'm starting from a great position (plus here being young is an advantage - my skin should recover pretty well from the treatment).
The most difficult thing over the last few weeks has been that I feel well, thus I feel guilty that I'm not doing anything, and generally being useless. I have been able to go into work a few times, which has helped, and I'm able to do more cooking. I know that I shouldn't feel bad but I'm one of those people who always feels like they have to be achieving something in life - even more so now that life seems shorter and more precious. It's kind of a strange place to be - in between being ill and being well enough to get back to normal. A bit like the last day of having the flu, when you're not really sure that you're well enough to go into work, but well enough to feel guilty for being sat on the sofa in your pyjamas at 11am - but stretched over weeks. I'm lucky that I have a hobby that has helped to keep me going - I've become an embroidery fiend. I finished my major project that I started the day before I went into surgery last week.
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| Size approx 35x30cm, and about 22 000 cross stitches |
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| Mistletoe Cushion |
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| Noel Banner |
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| My new project - A Bee |
I am back in treatment. Last week I had a short surgery back with Mr Smith to implant a port into my vein so that my Herceptin can be administered. My original plan was to have this done with the Oncology team over in Windsor, but they seem to have forgotten to set it up, so I arranged it myself. Whilst I was waiting to go down for surgery I got a call to say that my Herceptin treatment will start on the 9th March at Reading (for the first 3 sessions - after that I'll go to Bracknell) which gives just enough time for me to heal up before they use the port. I have about an inch long scar just above my implant where they went in for the port, and a rather extravagant bruise.
Radiotherapy began yesterday, having been in for planning a few weeks ago (where they took measurements and tattooed me with dots to help line up the machine). I'm having this done at the new Bracknell Cancer Centre, which is about a 10 minute drive from home. The place only opened in May 2011, and it's rather nice - very modern, and short waiting times as they're just ramping up their services. It even has a Costa Coffee bar where I can get my espresso fix. I was in for my first appointment yesterday, which took just under an hour. The rest of my appointments are booked in for 15-20 minutes. It really is very simple. I lie very still on a bed, get positioned and then zapped. Repeat twice more and then I'm done.
The side effects are cumulative, after yesterdays my skin is a little tender, like a very minor sunburn. I've been given some aqueous cream to apply twice a day and there are other precautions I have to follow - no soap or deodorants containing metals (e45 soap is fine), no exposure to the Sun (not a problem on a rainy March day), no shaving under my right arm, use warm not hot water and drink lots of water.
14 of these to go, and then just the Herceptin treatment. Soon I'll have my life back!
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
The Dog Days are Over
It's official: NO MORE CHEMO!!!111one!!! w00t!
I'm extremely happy about this, and so, so relieved. I have been planning in my head for 3 more cycles, and to have that cloud lifted is great. Especially as (and this is a silly reason I know) my hair is starting to grow back - 2 months after last treatment. To think that I'd have another 3 months of chemo, and then another 2 months before my hair is back at the feeble and patchy state it is now was most depressing. I also noticed yesterday that I have a line of very short lower eyelashes.
So next up on the treatment wheel will be:
I'm extremely happy about this, and so, so relieved. I have been planning in my head for 3 more cycles, and to have that cloud lifted is great. Especially as (and this is a silly reason I know) my hair is starting to grow back - 2 months after last treatment. To think that I'd have another 3 months of chemo, and then another 2 months before my hair is back at the feeble and patchy state it is now was most depressing. I also noticed yesterday that I have a line of very short lower eyelashes.
So next up on the treatment wheel will be:
- Genetic Testing - booked in for Friday to have blood tests to determine if my cancer has a known genetic base. Given my age, it's almost certainly genetic, but only a few specific breast cancer markers have been identified so far. I wonder if the samples are used to identify new ones, if the current known markers come up blank... I like the idea of helping to move the science forward, even only in a tiny way.
- ECG test - before I can have Herceptin treatment my heart function needs to be tested to make sure it's nice and sturdy, and also to get a baseline reading, as Herceptin can cause heart problems, so this will be a fairly regular occurance for the next year.
- Get a port put in. My veins are all broken, and I'll need 13 infusions of Herceptin, so I'll need an alternative to an arm vein - minor surgery required to put in a tube in a vein in my chest so that this can be done.
- Radiotherapy: 3 weeks of daily treatments, which can be done in Bracknell, just down the road, which is a bonus. Sideeffects: sunburn like effects to the skin, tiredness, potential lung and bone denisty damage
- Herceptin: this can start at the same time as the radiotherapy. Apart from potential heart issues, pretty much side effect free, just need to go in once every three weeks for an infusion, which takes about an hour.
- And then I should be done, just be hoping it doesn't come back!
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Waiting for a Decision
Tuesday was my post-op meeting with my oncologist to review what to do next with my treatment. Unfortunately my pathology results hadn't arrived with them through the post, so until I arrived with my copy they'd not been seen - although they had received a letter from the surgeon.
There is some debate as to where to go with my treatment next. For certain I will be having Herceptin and radiotherapy - including on my neck - as the lymph nodes there are the next place the cancer could go. The debate remains around whether to go for more chemo - the gut feeling of my oncologist is to have some more, but that's not the opinion of the oncologist I saw in Essex.
We had a long chat with the oncologist about where to go next - the problem is that in many ways I'm a borderline case, so it's difficult to make a decision. The oncologist is naturally concerned that I've only really had 3 chemotherapy treatments that were effective, and he would rather over treat and reduce the risk of recurrence. I'm obviously concerned about having a further chemo unnecessarily, especially given some of the side effects I'm still suffering with - my feet are still totally numb, and there is a serious risk of this worsening with more treatment.
Given that I'm borederline and the problems with the numbness, the oncologist is going to canvass some further opinions from his colleagues to decide how best to proceed. I'll obviously go with the recomendation - it's difficult to underestimate how little I want to have more chemo treatment but I'm not going to gamble my life on it.
I'll be back to the hospital next Tuesday to hear what will be happening next. In the meantime I'm hoping for the best, but planning for the worst.
There is some debate as to where to go with my treatment next. For certain I will be having Herceptin and radiotherapy - including on my neck - as the lymph nodes there are the next place the cancer could go. The debate remains around whether to go for more chemo - the gut feeling of my oncologist is to have some more, but that's not the opinion of the oncologist I saw in Essex.
We had a long chat with the oncologist about where to go next - the problem is that in many ways I'm a borderline case, so it's difficult to make a decision. The oncologist is naturally concerned that I've only really had 3 chemotherapy treatments that were effective, and he would rather over treat and reduce the risk of recurrence. I'm obviously concerned about having a further chemo unnecessarily, especially given some of the side effects I'm still suffering with - my feet are still totally numb, and there is a serious risk of this worsening with more treatment.
Given that I'm borederline and the problems with the numbness, the oncologist is going to canvass some further opinions from his colleagues to decide how best to proceed. I'll obviously go with the recomendation - it's difficult to underestimate how little I want to have more chemo treatment but I'm not going to gamble my life on it.
I'll be back to the hospital next Tuesday to hear what will be happening next. In the meantime I'm hoping for the best, but planning for the worst.
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