All Change

I'm now just about recovered from the last treatment, and it has been noticably harder this time around. More tiredness, more achiness, more sore feet and hands. It's also taken longer to start feeling better. I have at least managed to make it out to the office Christmas party and a leaving do, although I was only able to stay a little while at each. It was nice to get out of the house and dress up though.
Last Wednesday I was back to the hospital to meet the oncologist to discuss the biopsy findings. Not unexpectedly, the biopsies were not able to yield enough cancer cells to be able to do an HER2 test. In fact, they didn't get any cancer cells, only pre-cancerous ones. This means that my treatment regime is being changed, and by quite a lot more than I expected. So here is the new plan of action:

• Surgery will be next, probably within a few weeks - most likely straight after the New Year, but earlier is also a possibility. I'm going to see my surgeon tomorrow evening to get it set up, so I'll know then when I'll be going in.
• After I'm recovered from surgery, the plan is to give me another 3 chemotherapy treatments, Taxotere only. The reason being that the FEC had no effect, and 3 effective chemos is not really enough. As they know that the Taxotere is effective, and given my age, it is better to over treat than under treat.
• After the 3 chemos is still a bit vague, and will depend on the outcome of surgery. If the HER2 test is positive, then I'll have herceptin (some of which may be given in cobmination with the chemo). Herceptin is usally a 6 or 12 month long treatment - given as an injection once a month. My understanding is that the side effects are not too bad, so wouldn't stop me from working.
• Radiotherapy is still likely to happen, after the second round of chemo. Again this will be decided on based on what happens when I have surgery.

So, I'm obviously very happy that the treatment now seems to be going very well, but a little dissapointed that the treatment will be going on longer than I thought. It means I probably won't be back to normal until April rather than March. Most depressing is the though of another 3 chemos (although its really only 1 more in total than were originally planned) to go, and that they'll be post surgery when I'll be feeling quite ill already (with my Mum there was a 3 week gap between surgery and start of chemo, they may give me a little longer as I've already had some).

I'm also starting to get worried about the surgery, it being moved up and the fact that time seems to have flown by means that its snuck up on me. It's not just a physically tough experience, but a psychologically tough one, and I'm starting to get anxious about it. I also have a fear of general anaesthetic, I find the concept of being chemically knocked out quite terrifying. Still, I've had 2 so far and woken up from both...