Treatment Break is Nearly Over

Thanks to the change in my treatment schedule, I was able to enjoy a relatively healthy Christmas and New Year, which was mostly spent with family. It's taken me a long while to get over the last dose of chemo, and am still suffering from some odd side effects - i have numb fingers and toes and my muscles have a tendency to burn if I put them in certain positions. I can't knell down for example, as the lactic acid starts to build in my thighs as soon as I do.

Apart from that and still getting very tired, I'm mostly over the chemo. Now all I am suffering from is terror for the upcoming surgery. As I mentioned before, I'm scared of being put under. I think it's now fair to upgrade that to a full on phobia. I'm not sleeping much in the run up, and it's mostly the anasthetic that is giving me sleeplessness rather than the actual surgery (that just makes me cry rather than be scared). I'm very thankful for my Kindle at the moment, as it's helping me get through the long sleepless nights, and distracting me until I'm so tired I fall asleep anyway.

There has been a suggestion that I should take some sleeping tablets, but I don't like them either, so I suspect by Thursday I'll be a walking zombie before they even approach me with the needle.

I'm packing up to driver over to my parent's house today, as I have to go for a pre-op meeting tomorrow morning. I suspect I'll be staying there a few weeks. Simon has taken Thursday and Friday off work, and will join me at the weekends as well, but I'm going to need a lot of looking after and it's not fair for him to have to take holiday to look after me - I'd rather we use the holiday to actually take a holiday somewhere this year.