The worst is the waiting

Back to the Parapet (Windsor Breast Care Clinic) today. Appointment was written on the card as 11am. Now I've started to get used to the concept of NHS time, which is apparently set up entirely differently from time in the rest of the observable universe, so I wasn't expecting to be seen at 11. I can understand why time drifts so much there, especially as the people I'm waiting to see are the principle deliverers of bad news to patients, so I can't complain about the wait - I totally understand why the delays happen, and the service received so far has been awesome. When there's an emergency, the NHS really do pull their socks up.

I can however complain about the chairs in the waiting room. I was waiting with my Mum, who unlike me has some serious back pain issues (and I mean serious). After 2 hours in the chairs my back was hurting. The chairs are evil. Maybe I can try and raise some money for better ones... hmm something to think about.

Anyway, at 1pm I was lead in to see the surgeon. The second lot of biopsies have found some invasive cancer cells - not many, but they are there in the samples, so no need for any more stabbings. The results are quite odd, but positive, it seems like I have quite a lot of pre cancerous cells and very few invasive cancer cells (based on what they have seen so far, until I have surgery, this is all best guess stuff), in small little pockets, so it seems slightly odd that it's reached my lymph nodes, but there you go. The cancer cells have been given as Grade 2 (out of 3, 1 being, mostly normal, slow growing, 2 is moderately weird, medium growth rate, 3 is very different to normal cells, fast growing) In a way its a good job that they found the cancer cells in the lymph nodes first otherwise I may have been treated as if I had a pre-cancerous condition, which could have lead to delays and additional surgeries. She had also received some further blood results from me that show that I don't have any ovarian or liver tumour markers (v good news). Also my breast cancer markers came up as normal - which may seem odd, but these don't deviate from normal unless there is 'a lot' of disease. So generally positive news, or at least, no more bad news.

A further hours wait (on slightly less uncomfortable chairs) before I met the oncologist, a nice chap called Dr Adams. He took me through the specifics of my chemo treatment, and took a general medical history (mostly PCOS, dodgy tummy, no gallbladder). So madame will be treated to 4 courses of FEC followed by 4 delicious courses of T (mmm tea). FEC seems to be the standard breast cancer chemo (5 Flourouracil, epirubicin and cyclophosphamide), and is what my Mum has 6 courses of. Standard symptoms: nausea, hair loss, itchy eyes, tiredness, dry skin and almost complete suppression of the immune system.
T (taxotere aka docetaxel) is a newer treatment, and often used for younger patients, as it delays any recurrence of cancer if there is going to be recurrence. So if I do get cancer again, it would likely be longer before it happened, hence why younger patients get it. It also works in a different way to the other drugs, so its a good belt and braces measure in case the FEC doesn't work so well. The side effects for this one are: more profound hair loss (e.g. you don't always lose your eyebrows with FEC, but are almost certain to with T), more fatigue, and more suppression of immune system but on the plus side, less nausea. It also causes weight gain and bloatiness, but this usually reverses at the end of treatment.

I don't yet know however, when this treatment will begin, but I should find out at the end of the week.

I can wear a cold cap to try and prevent hair loss, which I've agreed to try for the first few sessions, but it's not really something I'm that bothered about. Of more concern is the lack of immune system, so no visitors with colds allowed. Having said that, the oncologist recommended keeping as normal a life as possible - so I shouldn't stop going out shopping or to the theatre - but just take sensible measures to avoid coming into contact with infection. Also taking regular moderate exercise tends to alleviate symptoms and reduce the occurrence of infection. I've always planned to try and keep as active as possible during the treatment, but it's always nice to know that it's recommended. I went into the office yesterday, and will probably go back in another few days this week (although I'm having my bone scan on Thursday). It's nice to be around people and get out of the house, even if I'm not able to be super productive. I've also got a few projects I can dip in and out of through the treatment to keep my mind active as well. I'm hoping I don't get too bad a case of chemo-fog (my Mum described it during her treatment as 'a bit like having your.... you know...erm...brain...fall out of your ears' - it has since been recovered).

I then went and sat with Anne-Marie, my breast care nurse for a while, who was the one who talked me into trying the cold cap. She also went through the procedure for getting a wig (which seems overly complicated - NHS may be good at cancer, but they're still shit at procurement) and my Prescription Exemption Certificate - thanks to Gordon Brown, I get all my prescriptions free for the next 5 years, which is good. She also took me to see the chemo suite at the hospital, which was small, but similar to the suite I went to with my Mum (comfy chairs, pillows, lots of windows, flowers).

By the time we left it was 3pm. I hadn't had any breakfast. I need to keep a supply of food in my handbag from now on, just in case. We collected my Dad, who'd been planning of visiting his car nearby (the Cobra is poorly :( ), but ended up instead driving around Windsor. Dad judgement: more like Slough than what you'd expect of Windsor. Maybe he saw the wrong bits - I don't know, I've only ever driven though or been to the hospital. The bits around ythe castle (where we adjourned for lunch) were nice though. We bought fudge, which I then left in my Mums car, and they then went home - fail.